Photo by Life Mental Health

Have you ever been so sad and alone that you felt like no one even knew that you exist? That no one would miss you if you were gone? Or even, that you would be better off? This is what it is like to be depressed.

Most adults at one point or another in their lives have had a bout with depression. These short-term episodes are normal and usually occur after a stressful or traumatic event in our lives. There are also some medications and even illnesses that can bring it on in a person that has no other stressful life events going on.

No matter what brings on these bouts, they are nothing to ignore. Short-term depression can be as deadly as the long-term type.

Sometimes, a person who appears perfectly well adjusted and happy will shock everyone around them by committing suicide. They were likely feeling so sad and alone at the time that they could not even see going on.

There are some things that you can do if you or someone that you know is experiencing a short-term bout with depression. These are suggestions of a few ways to try to help overcome this state-of-mind.

Any of these suggestions will probably be a huge challenge since by it’s very nature, depression drains all the energy from the mind of the one suffering with it. It will take patience and a lot of coaxing to get them motivated.

1. Avoid alcohol – If you have ever been upset and had a few drinks, you will understand already that alcohol is a mood depressant. It takes your sadness and amplifies it.

2. Take a brisk walk, or exercise – Push yourself for at least 20 minutes to kick in the endorphins. They are the bodies natural “feel good” hormones. And will help to lift the cloud that is keeping you down.

3. Get dressed up – do your hair, your nails, put on your favorite outfit and head out. It doesn’t matter if you walk to the corner store. Pampering yourself is a good way to pump up your self-esteem.

4. Take as leisurely stroll – Get outside into the sunshine if possible and take a walk. Examine what is going on in your life, or encourage them to talk about what is causing them to feel so sad and alone. Once the issue can be identified, it will be much easier to work through it.

5. Distract their mind – encourage them to participate with you in a favorite activity, take them shopping, bring over the kids, or anything else that you can think of to help distract their minds from their worries.

6. Get them to talk  - Try to help them figure out what is causing them to feel this way.

7. Get help! – If you are having no luck getting through to them, get help!. This may be the best thing that you could for them.

If you cannot get them to participate with you in any way, do not leave them alone. Keep them company until you find a way to draw them out.

Believe it or not, getting them angry is yet another way to help snap them out of it. It may be short-lived, but it could be a starting point if nothing else seems to work. Anger is simply a different emotion… This one has energy!

Getting them angry with you temporarily is a better option than leaving them while they are feeling so alone. Being angry will help to occupy their mind while it gives them some of the energy they need to move. Sad and alone cannot co-exist easily with anger. After all, with anger, there must be someone to aim it at and some way to vent.

Original Photo by OakleyOriginals

By taking the time to plan your own funeral ahead of time, the agony of making these arrangements is lifted from your loved ones. This can be one of the best things that you can do for those that you love.

The worst part is that most people don’t even realize that this planning service is available. We see the Funeral Home as a place that we only go to in our time of need.

Life insurance is broadly advertised, but not funeral planning. Maybe this is because we don’t like to think about our own mortality. It is unfortunate that this major benefit to our loved ones is not more publicized.

Knowing which Funeral Home you will use is the key. Simply call the Funeral Home and schedule an appointment. They will set up a time for you when their schedule is quiet.

The staff of Funeral Homes is always knowledgeable and helpful. They will open a file in your name to be used when the time comes. What a great gift to give those that you love!

Making these arrangements includes filling in some details specific to your life. These include such things as the names of your parents, where you were born, and any siblings along with some other information.

One nice thing is that along with the planning, you may even get the option of paying for some or all of the expenses at today’s costs. There are a few options that cannot be paid for ahead of time, since the payment for services of others (sometime in the distant future) cannot be accurately predicted. You can, however, put money towards these expenses.

The good part about this payment option is that there is usually no set payment plan. You pay the Funeral Home money towards the services as you can. Once you have enough in your account to pay for any specific item, it is completed and you start paying towards the next item.

When you plan your own funeral, there are several benefits:

• Your ancestral information is correct. This may be important to a child, a grandchild, or even a niece or nephew who is trying to find their “roots”.
• There is no push to have you pay for anything that you have chosen. This does not become a monthly bill that adds to the mountain of bills in your daily life.
• Most importantly – your loved ones will be spared the agony of trying to fill out the paperwork and remember the details of your heritage correctly.
• Your loved ones will have the peace of mind of knowing that the services provided are just the way that you wanted them.

Once you have your funeral plans arranged, be sure that your loved ones are aware of whom to call when the time does come.

Although it is not high in our day-to-day thoughts, taking the time to plan your own funeral really is one of the best ways to provide for our loved ones. The last thing that they will need during their time of grief is the agony of making arrangements for the burial.

For a free Funeral Planning Checklist, check out Keep and Share

Anyone with a teen knows the constant battle to motivate them. The constant struggle with the laziness and un-cooperation of the teen years. As parents, we have to stay vigilante to be sure whether they are depressed or lazy.

Teenage depression rates are very high. It really is no wonder with all the added stress of hormones, peer pressure, chores, and homework along with any extra curricular activities. Add to that the fear of failure and the pressure of deciding what to do with the rest of your life.

The signs of teenage depression are actually different from adult or childhood depression. These signs often make them appear as if they have become very lazy.

Unfortunately, they may not even realize that they are depressed. The idea of needing help for it will not occur to them if they do not understand how serious an illness it is.

Most often, it is up to the adults in their lives to figure out whether they really are depressed or lazy. To do this, we must watch for and recognize the symptoms of depression in teenagers.

These signs may vary between the sexes, but there are some symptoms that are common to both male and female teens.

Signs of Depression That Are Usually Common to Both Sexes:

1. Excessively negative
2. Antisocial behavior
3. Retreating to their rooms constantly, or wanting to leave home
4. Carelessness about their appearance.
5. Disinterest in family get-togethers and activities.

Signs of Depression That Are Usually More Common in Males:

1. Unusual aggression and agitation.
2. Getting into trouble at school or with the law
3. Reckless behavior including misusing illegal substances

Signs of Depression That Are Usually More Common in Females:

1. Becoming sloppy in their appearance.
2.  A new or unusual preoccupation with death or suicide.
3.  Extreme behavior with the opposite sex (either promiscuous or isolated from them)

Some Other Signs That Might Appear:

1. A lower self-esteem than normal
2.  References to suicide (in some extreme cases)
3.  A general negative outlook on life.

Although teens are struggling to be independent, a teenager that is dealing with depression will need your help. It will likely be up to you to push them to open up about their feelings. At least enough that you can decide what type of help to offer them.

Some ideas for discovering and coping with depression in your teen

• Be upfront. Tell them that you are concerned about their recent behavior. Talk about depression, make sure they understand that it is a treatable illness.
• If their depression is severe, or they talk about suicide, wanting to die, etc. – seek professional help.
• If your teen will not talk to you, talk with their friends or their parents. They may have opened up to them about their problems.
• Suggest some one-on-one time by offering a favorite activity or outing.
• Ask them straight out if there is anything they need to talk about.
• Don’t put on an act for them, just let them know you are concerned.
• Be vigilant. Watch for signs of suicide and take extreme measures if you see them.
• If they are reaching out, take the time to be there for them and listen.

The only way to be sure if your teen is depressed or lazy is to be observant. Watch carefully for changes in their behavior. Even though they are usually good at hiding depression from us, this should help you to catch it at an early stage.

Photo by wwootton

The death of a loved one is never an easy thing. The death of a sibling is an especially difficult thing for a child. Many times, the parents are so involved with their own grief that others may need to be involved in helping a child through their grief.

Children see the world “in black and white”. Depending on the age of the child, and the experiences of their lives, they may have a great deal of difficulty grasping the concept of death.

When their sibling dies and they attend the services, they see them as sleeping and wonder at all of the tearful people in attendance. Even if they have had the benefit of someone trying to explain death before attending, the black and white of the world still says that their sibling is asleep.

They may have some basic questions:

• Why is everyone crying?
• How did my sibling get here?
• Is he coming home with us?
• Why is he sleeping here?
• Why doesn’t s/he wake up?

They may be angry or overly upset at the process. If they know what the traditions are as far as what to expect at the services and the burial, they may decide that they want to attend, or that they can only handle a part of it.

Here are a few pointers to keep in mind:

• It is best to follow their lead concerning allowing them to attend.
• Have a designated person to look after the child since it is likely that the parents will not be able to.
• Expect that they may request to leave at any point. If they do, leave – immediately.
• Try to answer any questions honestly.

The circumstance of the death will play a major role in explaining what has happened to a child. An extended illness is a little easier to explain because it allows plenty of time to talk about the illness and expectations. A sudden, unexpected death leaves children feeling as lost as it does adults, maybe more so.

In the case of an illness, it is important to remember that children understand “catching” a cold that their friend or classmate has. The idea of catching an illness that “the doctors can not make better” will occur quickly to them.

An example:

My young son (who was only 3 at the time) was very close to my grandfather. My son couldn’t wait to go see my grandfather and would shadow him through the entire visit. Unfortunately, my grandfather’s cancer returned and he had little time left.

It was my son’s first experience with death and when I explained what was about to happen and why, my son avoided entering the room where my grandfather was. This happened even though my grandfather still looked and acted perfectly healthy at this point.

Fortunately, it only took a brief time before I remembered our recent discussion and realized what may be going on. I reassured my son that he could not catch what grandfather had and in no time, grandfather was back to being his favorite person in the world.

We lost my grandfather when my son was just 4 years old. He remembers him to this day, many years later.

A sibling example:

Michael was only 2 1/2 when he was diagnosed with a cancerous brain tumor. His cancer required major surgery and having a shunt inserted. His sisters who were 3 1/2 and 4 1/2 at the time were told that he had a bump in his head and the doctors were trying to fix it.

The shunt made it very easy for them to understand the concept of a bump in his head. The nasty scar and the constant trips to the hospital were an almost daily reminder that the doctors were trying to fix it. Michael was just 6 when we lost him.

In both cases, the children that remained were very young. They were all interested in seeing their loved ones after they had passed.

The girls thought that Michael’s body would be gone since they expected him to go to heaven. They talked at great length about how much they would miss him and the things they loved about him.

My son, who has never been good at sharing his feelings verbally, couldn’t contain himself. He talked, but only about how sad it was that he didn’t have a grandfather anymore.

The concept of never seeing a loved one again is a very difficult one for children, just as it is for adults. Having the freedom to talk about and explore their thoughts and feelings without being judged is an important outlet for them. So is getting honest answers, or at least the best answers that we can give them.

The grief process is not very different for a child. They have the same range of emotions as an adult, probably more. Often times, a child will blame themselves when someone they love goes away. No matter how you look at it, dying is going away.

A child may need to be reassured that this was in no way their fault. They didn’t do anything wrong. Death is not a punishment. They may wonder what will happen to them and will need to be reassured that they will be ok.

One of the best ways to help a child through their grief and fears surrounding a death is to encourage conversation. Listen to what they have to say and help to calm their fears. Traumatic memories stay with us for a long time, expect children to talk about their loss from time to time for years to come.

Their emotions may change as they mature. They see things from a new perspective and suddenly have new questions. Or, they may just be sharing fond memories.

Video originally posted by FinneganCounseling

Depression is a silent illness that affects millions of people. Even though in America alone, more than 20 million people have been diagnosed with depression, it is still a mysterious illness to those that have not experienced it’s grip. Those that have not experienced it can be very misinformed about the symptoms and needs of a person suffering with depression.

You will find it easier to help a depressed friend feel supported by following these steps:

Step 1
Voice your offer of support. Make sure that they know you care and want to do what they need in order to help, then be there for them when they need advice or just someone to talk to. One of the most important things you can do for a depressed friend is to be there for them. Let them know they can count on you and that you are supportive of them and what they have to say.

Step 2
Suggest that they get an evaluation. Being treated by a health care professional is an important step in their progress. Help them make and keep the appointment. This may mean making the appointment for them since there is usually little to no motivation at this stage.

Step 3
Educate yourself. Try to understand the condition and what can be expected during treatment and recovery. You can find helpful resources from the doctors office as well as on the internet.

Step 4
Be supportive of their treatment plan. Understand that reaching out may be an almost impossible task for them. You can be very helpful to them by scheduling appointments and even helping them to follow medication schedules if needed. Encourage them to stick with their treatment plan.

Step 5
Encourage and support positive activities. Because of the nature of depression, it is a very isolating illness. Encourage them to become involved in activities with friends, family, colleagues, and support groups as well as hobbies.

Step 6
Include them in the planning. Be sure to get their input for activities. Allow them to make decisions about social activities, such as which movies to see, friends or restaurants to visit. This helps build their confidence and self-esteem.

Step 7
Help them to recognize their progress. Give them positive feedback and compliments on their progression as often as possible.

Step 8
Follow up. Once they start to feel better, they may stop taking their medications or attending therapy because they believe that they no longer need them. If this happens, pay close attention for back-sliding. It is easy for depression to take hold again quickly. Sometimes, the medication and/or therapy is the only thing that really helps keep them grounded.

Remember that this is an illness. It is not like a cold that will quickly go away with a single prescription. Often, depression can take several years of therapy to make a real difference for them. In order to put their depression into perspective, and to start to move beyond it, they may need to identify specific events in their lives that lead to the onset of their depression.

This video was originally posted by fox4kc

Everyone gets depressed at some point in their lives. This is what makes the many songs about depression so popular. The trick is not to get so bogged down in it that the depression becomes an issue in our day to day life.

It is normal to experience periods of depression that may last several weeks. Usually, these bouts will occur after the breakup of a relationship, the loss of a loved one, a job, a pet, a promotion, and many other situations.

The array of songs about depression that we listen to during these periods is actually helpful. They reassure us that we are not alone, that there are others going through the same thing. This reassurance is important because it helps to keep the depression in perspective in our minds as we are going through it.

The songs make us feel united with others, they help to give us a release for our pain. This release helps us to work through the feelings that cause our depression.

It is always during the low points in our lives that the songs about depression seem to speak to us personally. Its as if they know exactly what we are going through and can express it so that others can understand our feelings.

The loneliness and depression that we experience during these periods is usually short-lived and is a normal expression of grief. Whether that grief is from the loss of a loved one or any other type of loss, the emotions that we experience are similar and may carry an array of emotions along with the grief.

These emotions can vary from denial and anger to depression. The final stage is always acceptance. This is the point that we are ready to move on in our lives, beyond the depression. We start to look for a new way to live our lives from one day to the next.

Whether it is you or someone you know that is experiencing a bout with depression, be patient, be kind to yourself and enjoy those songs about depression while you work your way through the pain and anger of your grief. It is a healthy outlet for the feelings that have you down. This short-term depression will not last long, coming out the other side of it will make you feel stronger and ready to face the world. You may even be ready to write your own song…

Losing a loved one to death is one of the hardest single events that we have to face in life. Whether they have been ill, or pass from us suddenly, the grief that follows is unlike any other that we have to deal with.

You cannot even imagine how the world can go on, yet everywhere around you, people seem oblivious to the fact that your world has ended. How can that happen? How is it that the sun can continue to shine and people can laugh – its just hard to grasp.

There are several stages in the grief process, and they are all normal. Not everyone will go through every stage. There is no particular order that you will experience these stages in and there is no set amount of time for working through a stage once you get to it. Working through a particular stage can happen several times during the process of getting through the grief that follows a loss.

These stages are:

1. denial and isolation
2. anger
3. bargaining
4. depression
5. acceptance

If you or someone you know is going through the grief process, be patient. Each person works through the different stages at their own pace and in their own way. Acceptance is the end result and getting there can be quite a journey.

With acceptance, finally comes peace and the ability to move on with our own lives.

Unfortunately, getting to this stage can be damaging to many relationships around us. Couples that have been married for years can be destroyed by the rollercoaster of emotions that are caused by this process.

The anger stage may be the most harmful of all. It may cause us to direct blame where there is none. We may strike out at the object of our blame, causing more hurt for someone else that is suffering as well.

Our depression can be so overwhelming that we are unable to see that others are suffering. Children, spouses and friends all suffer at our hands without us really intending for it to happen. Our own grief is so deep that we are unhappy with everything and everyone. This makes it easier to place blame with someone and to criticize them deeply.

Unfortunately, when depression and anger take over, we cannot always reason our way out of the thoughts that come with it. The only thing that can be done that may help is to try to find a reasonable alternate to place the blame with.

Medical issues can be blamed on the lack of science, the government, the particular institution or even the quality of care that they received. Accidents are easier since there is generally another party that can specifically shoulder the blame.

Once this stage passes, so, often, does any unreasonable blame. Having a place to point blame is usually only helpful during the anger stage. Pointing it towards the outside world helps to form an ally of sorts among those that are grieving.

When it comes to losing a loved one, it is difficult to help with the grief process. Be patient, whether it is with yourself or someone else. Listen to what they have to say and be supportive. Many people believe that they have seen the loved one, others may report any number of strange occurrances. Do not hurry to dispute what they say, it is all part of the process and should pass as the grief becomes less of a raw wound.